Of God & Reality
by Steve Tierney

Late in the 23rd century, four scientists in a secluded laboratory in Houston, Texas, proved conclusively that reality did not exist. This was achieved mathematically using a convoluted series of equations, but realising that the real world, as they termed it somewhat hypocritically, would not accept a nine thousand digit series numerical formula as absolute proof of its non-existence, they set about proving their deductions in solid terms, using models that even those uninitiated in the mysteries of mathematics could understand.

The result, a memorable event which was spectacular entirely for the reason that it was not, in fact, spectacular, was that all reality faded away into nothing, which is not surprising since this was categorically what it had always been anyway.

Nothing existed as a concept for a very, very long time, or no time at all, depending on your understanding of the term nothing. After which everything reappeared again exactly as it was in an instantaneous flash of pretty coloured lights. There may even have been a pleasant tune.

The four scientists pushed their spectacles higher on their noses and sniffed, wondering why their experiment had not worked. The mathematics seemed infallible. At the conclusion of their physical demonstration they had expected something rather more substantial than a flash of coloured lights.

One of the scientists, so confident in his own authority and knowledge, concluded that the experiment absolutely had to work. He knew they had made no mistakes in their calculations. In a dramatic declaration, termed such because he made it with a raised voice and a hard slap of his hand upon one workbench, the scientist said, "we are not in error. Everything we have done is entirely correct and therefore I can only conclude that somebody, or something, is not playing by the rules."

God appeared before the collected scientists in a flash of holy light which several of the scientists, who were all fellows of a keen and observant mind, pointed out was remarkably similar to the coloured lights that had been the conclusion of their experiment. There may even have been a pleasant tune.

"You!" said one of the scientists, angrily. God nodded, perfectly prepared to accept that he was who he was, she was who she was, and it was who it was. Or not, as they preferred. The lead scientist stormed, "What is the point in making the rules of creation if you simply change them the minute we work them out? That's totally unfair! In fact, it's cheating." God smiled, politely, but declined to comment.

"Wait," said one of the group. "If God is here then perhaps He exists outside reality."
"That's philosophy," said the lead scientist, "not physics."
"In fact," another contributed, "its neither. It's nothing. Since we have shown nothing is all that exists."
"If that's nothing, and if we are nothing, and if even God here is nothing, then everything is nothing."
"Which by pure mathematics," said the lead scientist (who had been drawn into the debate against his better judgement simply because he didn't like to be left out), "means that nothing is also everything, both being equal to one another."
"What does that mean?" somebody asked.
"It means that if nothing exists, as we have shown, then everything must also exist, or else nothing can't exist at all."
"But it nothing can't exist at all, what is the alternative?"
"Everything. Or something else entirely."

The group was quiet for a while, each examining their own part in the grand formula. They looked at one another, each not willing to be the one to speak, but finally one of them did. "Something Else? What something else?" the lead scientist asked aloud.
"Some uncounted factor," said a colleague. "Something about which we have no knowledge."
The lead scientist examine his peers with a look of consternation. "Shit," he said.

God disappeared, having enjoyed the whole thing immensely.
Nobody noticed.